Today, I started this blog. On Tuesday evening, my husband and I finally cut ties with our 24 year old daughter. A brief look at how this began...
"Jai" was born to my husband and his exwife in 1982. (Not her real name). They divorced shortly thereafter. My husband and I married in 1984 and the biological mother had already left. I adopted Ja and treated her like my own, she wasn't a stepdaughter. We shopped, cooked, laughed and cried together. Then, a monster erupted inside of her when she turned 18. We now know she is bi-polar, but at the time, she refused to live by our rules and we asked her to leave. She moved back in when she was 20, after claiming she'd changed.
True enough, Jai changed, but for the worst. She'd started to consume huge amounts of alcohol and was verbally abusive to my husband and myself. She didn't come home at night and worried us to no end. Things started coming up missing in our home and she helped herself to any money that she found in our home. She stole from us, she was becoming more toxic, then...she ended up pregnant. She claimed she hated the father of her child, then she claimed she loved him. This drama never ended up to the minute she gave birth to our grandson in 2005. I asked her to give the baby up for adoption, I relied on the vial things she had said about the baby's father. She lied. He was not physically abusive, nor was he a drug addict. He was just hopelessly in love with someone who is not capable of returning unselfish love.
Jai was a good mom to her son at first. Then, she met a 21 year old boy, "Pos" who was kicked out of the Army after he beat his wife. This guy then beat up our grandson's father, almost putting him in a coma. Jai stated that she'd left him and again moved back home. We again believed her.
Jai later began sneaking out of the home at night, asking her brother to "listen" for the baby. She was leaving to meet with Pos. We found this out later and told our son to stop covering for her, that if a fire was to break out the baby could have been killed.
We believed Jai when she said she had left this violent man, who admitted to anyone that will listen that he is Bi-Polar. Jai informed us he was also schizophrenic. Great pair to be around a baby, who is now 2 years old.
Our grandson is possibly autistic. He has a communication disorder. The question we continue to ask is how Jai turned out exactly like her biological mother. The difference? Jai hasn't walked away from her son, yet. We are currently helping the biological father to gain custody, before this little guy ends up hurt. Jai advised us that a recent spat with Pos involved him tearing up her house and urinating on her clothing. He then went to her place of employment and spit in her face. She refers to that as a "spat." We consider that further proof that Pos is dangerous and needs to be removed safely to the home of his father.
